Looking Ahead with an eye On the Past

As the world goes on, there always seems to an end at some point, and we continue chasing that end, and when we reach that end point, we realized .. wholla .. still miles to go before we hang our boot off.

I guess, year passing is always had the same trick, where you look at the end of year to have point covered (that you promised at the start of year), and when you are finally in the month of Dec, you get the idea.. Half work done...

And am not lucky enough to escape from this virile trick of chasing down. The year 2008 has no doubt, it had its up n down.
The year 2009 had started with a promise of

> Getting loved, getting acknowledged by the surroundings
> To get rid of my "kya fark padta hai"(KFPH) attitute
> With an urge to forget /\ /\/\ /\/\ /\
> To get intense with life
> To open out more, to rant more
> To stay calm, attain peace of mind
> To have more substance of work
> To spend less, save more
> To get rid of all my borrowing
> To be more reactive
> Think positive and believe in yourself
> Make more friends
> Making 2009 a worth to look back
> m sure, there are more to add.. so i think i should stop here, else list goes on ..

And look, at the end of 2009, where i stand. If i take some point off from the list, and add quite a few, it stays the same for year 2010.

Well, apart from the list, 2009 had something to cheer. I gifted myself bike(Devil) on my birthday and had notebook(laptop) as Diwali gift.Our Master All Classics/100 All Time Favorite hit the deck in the start of Dec, mind you MAC/ATF is the first game where i worked as programmer from the conception phase to getting it candidate master. Well, i think i should have to be more polite and high on socializing rather than getting myself trapped in no man's land.

At the personal front, i think i need to find some one who can cheer me up when am down, to make me realize how much she loves me, to make me laugh with her naughtiest action, mischievous word, who hate me when i c some raunchy(porn) stuff or ogle at other girls, whom i am at ease to extent where i don care, ki my word/action will b judged, whom i can hug to the core where we feel one, who wishes me all the good thing, who searches my arm to relax her in spite of pillow, who think am having the biggest chest to swallow her while hugging to make her feel protected, who seeks me every time when she's happy or sad, whom i can offer my costliest shirt just to get her just nosey off or wipe her tears down, whom i can scream n say out loud... "You are the bestest thing ever happened to me .." :)))))))))

So, signing 2009 off with a bang and looking forward to 2010, as i hope, coming year will bring prosperity not to me, but to every one. No resolution, nothing as these are all just a false promises, and i sucks @ making one of them.

Happy New Year 2010

PS : A person with a genuine heart and yet a stoned one when it comes to love.
PPS : Love is when someone breaks your heart and the most amazing thing is that u still love them with every broken piece of your heart

Committed to me,myself,sAu

I wish ...

Every person in this world will be having a Wish or a list of wish to die for.
It always true that sometime u need to wish, to make it happen. And one wish leads to another, cause this world is materialistic, the more you get , the more you wish... as one of the shahrukh khan ad says,
" Thoda aur wish karo "

As the title of the post say, I wish .., so there is nothing wrong if i wish for myself, some of which i think i can get, some of which i think i won't.

I wish .. i had all the ability to be a good blogger
I wish .. i had numerous visit/comment on my blog
I wish .. i had sachin tendulkar, AB following my blog
I wish .. i had unique/killing way of representing things on my blog

I wish .. i were a cricketer, guitarist, pianist, writer, lecturer, pilot
I wish .. i were working in a blue collar job, where u need to wear suit :)
I wish .. i were the mastermind behind one of the blue chip company emerging fast
I wish .. i were the creative director of an AD company

I wish .. i could go to dad/mom, n say .. i love you and hugged them tight
I wish .. i had my dadi maa, with me all the time
I wish .. i had the charm of my dada ji or my bade paa..
I wish .. i would be able to live up to the expectation of my family

I wish .. I had studio apartment on the top floor, facing best of scenic beauty
I wish .. I had Lexus SUV to drive
I wish .. I had full wardrobe of various top brands of world
I wish .. I had earned the tag of head - turner/stunner

I wish .. I had friends who showed up when i need them
I wish .. I had friends who instead of going cold, could come n state the fuck of all
I wish .. I were a gossip master/task maker to entertain my frndLots
I wish .. I had never ending school/college days

I wish .. I had never been turned down by any girl (esp last one)
I wish .. I were lucky in my love life
I wish .. I had one solid affair to learn my mistake
I wish .. I had found love, not twice but thousands times
I wish .. I didn't had developed cynic approach towards love

I wish .. I can put a full stop on my never ending desire

As i wrote my wish, i know i can make them true, not all but atleast quite a sum of.
What i feel, wish is one of the stepping stone for things to happen.
The more you wish, the more urge you will have to make it happen.

Give me some Sunshine
Give me some rain
Give me another chance
wana grow up once again

Committed to me, myself, sAu


Jst watched love aaj kal .. i know am bit late thn also, i made a point by watching original DVD rather than going for pirated version. It was awesome, the two love story shown, was well tailored. Imitiaz ali made a wonderful movie and the acting of saif was the icing on the cake and the gesture of music add to it charismatic.

Well, i was bit emotional @ the end, where saif make his love felt to deepika, seriously man... it gets me tear in my eyes, don know but whenever some one gets his love (that was once denied/not accepted/long awaited), it makes my eyes wet. It's may be, what i always thought of getting in life and like always denied by the fate of lord.

Society has moved so ahead where sleeping with multiple guys is not considered to be unethical, where love making happens before asking the name. Best example is LAK. It's good to do and accept, in comparison to go for hypocritical style.

The tension that saif shows on screen before breaking to deepika is hilarious, saif in terribly tensed and deepika is so eased. The concept of break up party was seriously cool. Saif was extremely witty n charming, and deepika totally adorable n innocent babe.

The best advantage of being in the relationship, is the togetherness where two becomes one, the I n U become WE. The joy of sharing n caring excels the thought of emptiness, makes you feel more strong emotionally, connect to the co-valency of life, where u always made felt special, where u look upon to every if n but of each other...

Anyway, this is all about movie, now lets talk about something seriously n that LIFE.

Today, we got the cartridges of our game "100 All Time Favourite", something to cheer for, but i don't have DS to play, least i cant even show to others :((((( There is the policy of giving game cartridges/DVD to the developers n all the person involved in developing, and so do we got ..
Its the same game that our studio n me worked from scratch... Finally a title under my name .. lol :)))

Another year, is about to pass, already November is at the verge of end, another disappointing/not so good year is about to end. I didn't able to score high on my personal front, not even on my career.. in short it wasn't going to be remembered for good reason. Am not able to move on completely from amma angle, still feel the voidness created by her exit. I'll always cherish you for whatever reason. I wish, i could have captured some more moments of our's good time, to disappoint, i didnt have even any audio of yours.

Papa is about to go for prostrate gland operation, early next month. Hope, everything gets well.

Visited dhiraj bhai last Saturday, we had lunch together n that after bhabhi coming. I was bit scared, but it was good visit. Didn't talked much with bhabhi, she ws bit confused or was not feeling comfortable in front of me or what .. Anyway, hope to see you in great flair in future soon.
Moving with shiv can be said to be the best, am enjoying my stay... I have access to everything that i wish for.. like food (n that well cooked by Cook), TV, internet n on top.. good house mate... love you all
Am under debt of more than 30k (that's of bhaiya), have to pay off as quickly as possible...

The other day, one of my friend said that i am split personality. wow !!!! from where this come, btw i think i am, coz i feel the person that i am on phone or chat is completely different to what i am in actual life. On phone/chat am more of extrovert, kiddish, witty, charming ...

Anyway, jo hai so hai .. cant help it..
signing Off with b'ful lines...

Lakdi ki kaathii..
kaathi pe ghoda..
ghode ke pooch pe.. maara jo hathoda ..
daura daura ghoda dum utha ke daura ....

tu jaane na ...

Kaise batayein
Kyun tujhko chahe
Yaara batha na paayein
Baatein dil o ki
Dekho jo baki
Aake tujhe samjhaein
Tu jaane na aaaa..
Tu jaane na
Tu jaane na aaaa..
Tu jaane na

Hmm milke bhi, hum na mile
Tumse na jaane kyun, milo ke,
Hai phasle tumse na jaane kyun
Anjaane, hai silsile
Tum se na jaane kyun, sapne hai
Palko tale tum se na jaane kyunnnnnn…

I wish, i had someone to sing for...

Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeers .....

~!!~ ~!!~

how cum one become just a acquaintance, after you share a lot..
i mean everything .. every if n but of life

n then a stranger to each other ...


need a complete mind over ... :| :| :( :(
my gtalk status.

Down n Out ..
yeh haal ho gaya haii ...

Next week is what we call, Golden week, 5 working days mein 2 din ki chutti ..
thn also, no concrete plan of what i will be doing ...
It ranges from Goa to Deviagar to sports bar(Ind Vs Pak) to room shift to disposal of books @ abc chock to kuch bhi nahi ...
yaar kahi bhi chaloo/kuch bhi karoo ...
m boored n lost in the thoughts of past, kab iska peecha jhuteee gaa.... :(-_-_

No lights @ room, the great electric deptt didn't get the receipt of our online bill payment n it results in our light disconnection.
kamino ki galti ki sazaa hum bhugtein.... kal puri raat, bina light ..
aur aaj bhi ... :(:(

Today, is traditional day in office, and mind you, some of the few female office chic is looking really fuckesome sexy n hot...
Mrs Neha .. toh was looking awesome ... he he he he....
kasam se .. agar shaadi nahi hui hoti usski, toh apun aaj propose kar hi deta ...

aur kya ..
kuch bhi nahi ...
he he he he he
ho ho ho ho ho
lo lo lo lo lo
jo jo jo jo jo
po po po po po

feel like giving lots lots loads loads of hug n kisses ....
muaaah muaaah muaaah muaaaah muaaaah muaaaah muaaaah..
((((((((((((( 0000000000 ))))))))))))))


Whacky... Shaky ...

Another tag, stolen from some random blog.
I did in the quest of knowing myself.

1. I've come to realize that my last kiss.....
never happened exactly what/where it supposed to be. :|

2. I am listening to...
Yeh Dooriayan .... (Love Aaj Kal ..)

3. I talk...
frivously/whimsically when my rapo with you matches 10 out of 10. I am not a gregarious sort of nature. :(

4. I love...
my family, my bike, my craving for hopeless ambition, love n care.

5. My best friends..
were never meant to go cold-blooded, hard-hearted .. Anshu(m) .. i love u

6. My first real kiss...
arrey kabhi kara hi nahi ... shame on my jawani... chi.. chi..

7. Love is...
all about caring and sharing.

8. Marriage is...
something that takes you to the reality. he he he he

9. Somewhere, someone is thinking...

10. I'll always...
cherish my graduation days in Delhi, always stand tall for myself n my family, friends

11. The last time I really cried was because...
i got broken heart, arrey yaar .. pehla pyaar(2004) toottaa hai toh, dard hota hai naa ...

12. My cell phone..
Very manly n delicate as it should b.

13. When i wake up in the morning...
i always check wht's time it is. (Thoda aur so sakta hu ki nahi ... :):))

14. Before I go to bed...
i go to loo.

15. Right now I am thinking about...
posting this n playing COD n then zoooooooom to sweet home.

16. Babies are...
Cute, adorable. Would love to have twins(a boy n a girl)

17. I miss...
kuch nahi ... chalti ka naam zindagi hai ... kisi ke aane jaane se zindagi naa ruki hai, aur naa jhooki haii ...

18. Today I..
have to read, complete atleast one chapter of 3D math. Seriously, man, i am lacking... need to score fast...

19. Tom I will be..
coming all my way to catch you, while u looting bank and will be pocketing the reward money of 1 million dollar. ha ha he he ho ho

20. I really want to be able to..
score handsomely on every parameter that a man aim for, no matter whether its family or carrer. Also, i want to be a good human being.

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”
”Friendship: a building contract you sign with laughter and break with tears.”

Hug & Kissess
Committed to me, myself, sAu.


1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.
Oops Its blank, coz on next page 19 starts a new chapter.

2. Stretch your left arms out as far as you can & catch air?
aaahhhhh ... need some fresh air, as AC things didn't work out for me.

3. What is the last thing you watched on T. V.?
Just chill ... Dhan ta tan from kaminey

4. Without looking, guess what time it is?

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
people discussing in their's cubicle ..

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
After entering office, havn't stepped outside till yet. Haa .. morning i stepped outside from home for office.

8. Before you started this Q&As, what did you look at?
was reading "ExtremeTech 3D pipeline"

9. What are you wearing?
a full sleves shirt with a pair of jeans.

10. When did you last laugh?
pata nahi .. sayad kal..

11. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
nothing as this is office, but haa .. my workstation is full of yellow "TO-Do" list, hey lots to do ..

12. Seen anything weird lately?
Yeah.. me copying this tag from somewhere else, and doing on its own. Nothing more weird can be ....
ho ho ho

13. What do you think of this quiz?
Timepass (Doing this esp for 19)

14. What is the last film you saw?
Hum Tum on TV, and in theaters .. Angels n Demons and that some 2 months ago .. :(

15. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Will invest strategically in some start up company, and will buy some nice/big top floor apartment and a Lexus RX Hybrid10

16. Tell me something about you that I dunno!
I am big time emotional fool. If i attached to someone/something, its hard to detach. I feel like giving lots n loads of love to dear/near ones in any form i can (esp verbally, physically, etc ), but unfortunately i always fail.

17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Illiteracy. If people are literate, they will be in proper condition to take care of themselves, which in turn will do good for their locality, city, country and add to the prosperity of themselves n their country.

18. Do you like to Dance?
Yeah.. i do .. but, to be honest, am a terrible dancer.

19. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Ayesha Anand

20. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
I don know, its up to my wife n family to decide. Given a choice, i will call him sid

21. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yeah.. of course.. in fact am dying to live abroad. I want to explore the world.

22. What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
AA GAYA ... chal apna hi GHAR samajh .... :)))))) (n then crooked mind will start rolling ...

I love thee, I love but thee.... With a love that shall not die.... Till the sun grows cold, And the stars grow old.... (Anonymous)

Committed to me, myself, sAu.

Kaminey ...

Hindi Song: Kaminey
Singers: Vishal Bhardwaj
Lyricist: Gulzar
Music Director: Vishal Bhardwaj

Kya kare zindagi
isko hum jo miley
iski jaan kha gaye
raat din ke giley
raat din giley

meri aarzoo kameenee
mere khwab bhi kaminey
ik dil se dosti thi
yeh hazoor bhi

kabhi zindagi se maanga
pinjare mein chand la do
kabhi lalten de ke
kaha aasma pe taango
jeene ke sab kareene
the hamesha se kaminey

meri dastaan kameenee
mere raaste kaminey
ik dil se dosti thi
yeh hazoor bhi kaminey

jiska bhi chehra chila
andar se aur nikla
masoom sa kabootar
naacha toh mor nikla
kabhi hum kaminey nikle
kabhi dosti kameenee
maere yaar bhi kaminey
ik dil se dosti thi
yeh hazoor bhi kaminey

A must listen song for everyone, who believe in the "karma". I haven't seen the movie yet, as release is delayed in pune by 3 days because of Swine Flu, then also, the review it had generated till now is impressive and magnificent. It reflects the real meaning of being in the world, it deals the majestic touch of life, where everyone is "kaminey", which is terrifying and spooky, and at the same time very striking and overwhelming.

The sequence where shahid runs with the stallion, and that's shirtless... Great shot, (Don think, m a gay or like that :|, its brilliantly shot, and i wonder when i'll have those kinda chest and abs... :D) striking music and breathtaking running by shahid is the high point. Hats OFF to Vishal and Co...

committed to me, myself and sAu

11 July 09 ..

Celebrating B'day is always going to be fun, so was mine.
Continuing the legacy, here comes the ups n down of 2008 - 2009.

So, Here comes the 25 pointer ...

1) Being in Ubisoft, is almost having a ride to a bumpy surface. The whole last year in ubisoft, was like a roller coaster ride. Got an appraisal, and that what we called "utt ke muh mein zeera", recession time .. you know na..

2) "Master All Classics", is releasing this Christmas. This is the game that we made. Title is ready for Nintendo submission, lets have finger crossed. First major title, where i worked as programmer, and that's from scratch. At last, something to cheer, as last one year was all gloomy and full of sloppy things .

3) Last three months, i had long working hours, better to say .. 10 am to 12 midnight, and even to 3 am. Now, as submission is about to hit, so bit relaxed n enjoying ... :)

4) Finally, gifted myself bike, a Pulsar 180CC... and that on my birthday, a long awaited list in my "To Buy" list. I know, am wiccan enough to take this long to buy, after planning from last 2 and 1/2 years. I tell you, it gets to 40-50 kmph in 5 sec, that's amazing na ...

5) Planning to have laptop by the end of this year, lets c whether it materializes or ???

6) Finally, Dhiraj bhai got married this may. Lemme tell you, he is enjoying every second of married life. When he got back to pune, after marriage, facial expression/mood was something to look out for, as if bulb has lost his filament, and it knows where it is, but cant dare to pick it up.

7) It was very regretful, not to witness dhiraj bhai wedding, as my leaves were canceled. I know, how pissed off, dhiraj bhai was/is, but Dhiraj Bhai, it was not in my hand, and am extremely sorry, ki i cant make it to your wedding.

8) Anshuman, my BFF joined in Delhi, so he also left pune. Now, this place sucks ...
God save me ..

9) Getting alone day by day. First Ayesha went, then anshuman went to delhi, and now dhiraj bhai going . "sabi chor ke chale gayein ... " I know, its for the good cause, then also .. it hurts when you start feeling, that you getting left out.

10) World is selfish, full of hypocrite people, they even themselves don't know, where they stand, but will stand tall on their self imposed greatness.

11) How can the person with whom u breathed every moment from morning to night suddenly turn stranger? How strange na, we were at "start" in 2007, "high" in 2008 and in 2009, she didn't even think of wishing me on my birthday. How lame one can be ..

12) Then also, I was GLAD to know you, gladed to left you behind. All i say, "Every Relationship comes with a expiry date."

13) I don beleive in love anymore, what we call ... "Once bitten, twice shy"

14) My eternal wish is to work outside india for 2 - 3 years atleast, where no one knows me, where i can start a fresh, where i can live in my solitude, where i can restore my confidence in love,myself, where i can have rendezous with myself.

15) I love "How I met your mother", a hilarious sitcom, a must watch.. especially Barney Stinson and his bro code... a great character who create awful situation and enjoy to watch or being at that situation. He has a key of all lock and always willing to poke his nose in whatever situation. A great example of friendship, i mean he always stand for his friend (Ted, Robinson, Lilly, Marshal), no matter how much trouble they r in.I am great fan of his "Awesomeness..."
" When i get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True Story. " Barney Stinsons

16) I am getting skinny ..looked sick.. may be it was coz of work schdule i have ..or the nail in heart ..

17) Still didn't donated blood ...

18) Was fulltu out in one of the ubisoft party, did everything what one is supposed to do after ... no more details.. o_0

19) Have to try drugs(G n all), atleast one shot... (i don know why ... )

20) Am a person who beleives more in letting things happen, rather than make them happen.

21) I miss you a lot, i know it sounds trite. Then also, every beginning has an end. Have still kept you alive in my thoughts.

22) I guess, i were more self determined, in all aspect of life.

23) I hate people, who didn't pick up phone, after continous ringing or even put me on hold. You have the brain to talk "badi badi" baatein, but didnt have guts in ur ass to pick up the phone and state the reason whatever it is.

24) My broking continues ... :(((((

25) Read some good books in last year, hope to continue trend for years to come.

I know, am bit late in posting, then also, digging 25 point is a big ask, and c, i completed at last. I need a pat.. don't i ... :)

committed to me, myself, sAu

11th July

Your not wishing me, suggest where i stand.

Thanks, thanks a lot ..
This is what i was expecting. To be honest, i was bit hopeful, ki kahi, you will wish me. But, then also .. Thanks .. Thanks a lot.

Gifted myself bike, Devil is what i call it. :)

Soon, i'll write my b'day post, where i put my all the happening of last year.

This is first B'day, which i celebrated with my office mate, as am working on this night.
It was awesome, to be greeted like this. Never expected, but it was delightful, and full of elegance.

Thanks to all my office mate.
You guys rocks ...

Its been more than 3 month, that we talked last, more than 8 months we are out of relationship, but still i don know, why am not able to keep myself off from your thought. Its never been a single day, where i haven't thought of u, hoping not ki u'll change n all, and once again rain will start pouring in thirsty desert, i don know why..

Today, somehow i saw ur new pic in orkut DP, it made me restless, to an extent of 10 min or so, i got sinking feeling, made me feel as if am falling from top, and there seems to b no ending of it. I became normal only after justifying her action with my perspective, and this is the way am keeping myself going against her pervasiveness.

Why .. why .. i just want to get rid of all this, but am not able to, i know am confident enough, not to show all this physically, but i can feel the pain inside. And its taking a toll on my attitude, my way of thinking, behaving, n in the process of justifying, am letting myself down. I feel alone, low and out. How long one can think of someone, who is gone forever. I know, its crap to think about another crap, but its hard to come over to it. I still get perturbed when i think of ur action/behaviour that you showed knowingly/unknowingly.

My innerside still crave for you, my soul still thinks of you, i know you are happy in your world and having a blast out there, and i also pray to god, to keep you happy, content, blissful forever.

I miss you ...
I miss you a lot...

:| :* :|

Does this convey something ??????????????

committed to me, myself, sAu

Paroxysm of Memory

After 367 days of tipsy,topsy,lurchy moments... and more than 6 months of out of our loving, caring n sharing relationship, all i wana say...
Tera mujh se hai pehle ka naata koi...
yu hi nahi dil lubhata koi...
jaane tuuu yaa jaane na
maane tuuu yaa maane naaa.......
love n hug
cheeeeeerss..... :( :( :( :(


It's really strange when you retrospect for your childhood crush, for whom we used to go to any level of nonsense, to grab a opportunity to meet him/her or to see him/her... How a short lived infatuation/fondness can lead to some goofiest situation/action, no one can even imagine. Being in love and being loved is two different things, but when you have crush on someone... Who the hell think of all this, there is only one hope, where you want to be noticed some time intentionally or sometime unintentionally...

The last night, lying on the bed, watching star over head, when I thought of this, then my impatient mind stalked two name, i.e preity and dhramshilla. So, let’s have a peek a boo with them.

Dhramshilla mam was our class teacher, when i was in class 6th. Her innocence face, simplicity, and sexiness made me feel for her. I know it’s kinda weird to think of her, but what to do, when you are at the blossoming age of your raw sexiness, nothing is wrong. The way she used to take name, it was way enough to make you numb for a while. She no doubt, were having best figure (lol) among all.

And preity, one of the most cherished crush... she was beautiful, innocent, cute and all the adjective that you can think of. Rahul, will definitely tell you, how mad I was for her, after all he was my informer, as she used to live in her locality. I still remember how I used to wait for 3.50 pm for a glimpse of her, as she used to cross my building for her tuition. I invested quite a few night, in thinking, how to have a word with her, I mean how to strike a conversation/friendship, whether to give some gift or some soft toys, how she will react... bla bla ... but unfortunately it didn't happened. I know, it was doltish to make an email id "sau_prit@hotmial.com" where sau stands for saurabh and prit stand for preity, but who care... I really adore the time of my bhartendu’s sir tuition, from where all this started. It was more of routine to see her in morning in her balcony, where she used to brush her teeth, and every time if she did something diff from other day, rahul was sure ki, she was giving some hint, and all I have to do is to take a foot forward.

But we never had eye to eye contact for more than 4 sec or so, why I don’t know, if I would have clue, surely she would have been mine.. Be +ve yaaar .. Then also, the whole morning incident was more of fun, and especially thinking about how to strike a chord with her was one of the craziest or wackiest thing, could happen to me...

Well, this was one of the tales that I shared here, it’s almost true ki somewhere at any point of time, everyone had a crush in his/her life, and to get back to those memories is almost digging a mine of golden memories. I know, both my crush got crashed before it could take off.. Then also, this is what we called life ... I am sure, both of them will be enjoying their life with all the ups and downs.

I urge every reader of this, to share their experience of crush, which definitely make you feel good. And if something can bring smile on you, then give it a shot na...

A thoughtful message to end this....

"Sometimes we struggle through tasteless coffee till the last sip and we find sugar lying at the end, THAT'S LIFE... always sweetened but sometimes not stirred"

committed to me,myself, sAu

Tag Tig Tog

How much i love you, you don know ..
How much i care you, you don know ...
Love is eternal, Love is bliss ..
Love is something, that makes you reeling n rocking ...

Name one person who made you laugh last night?
Did i laughed last night .... lol

What were you doing at 0800?
Taking bath, office jaana hota hai yaar ...

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Sipping mazaa with kitkat, it tastes great

What happened to you in 2006?
Was seaching job, infact in mid 2006, got selected in CDAC... and rest becomes history.

What was the last thing you said out loud?
jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahe mujhe koi jungali kaheinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn .......

How many beverages did you have today?
aeeeeeee .. 2 cups of tea, one cup of capechino, and one mazaa .. bus ..

What was the last thing you paid for?
for mazaa and kitkat, tht i bought in office canteen

Where were you last night?
ghar pe...

What color is your front door?
wooden color

Where do you keep your change?

What’s the weather like today?
hot.. pata nahi delhi wali mausam yaha kaha se aa gayi ...

What’s the best ice-cream flavor?
butterscoth ...
my fav ..

What excites you?
smile, cuteness, smartness, and *&^&%% ...
ha ha ha he he he ho ho ho

Do you want to cut your hair?
i want to shave it off, but ...

Are you over the age of 25?
hhmm ...
and clock is ticking faster day by day. Frankly speaking, i don have any clue how fast i aged 25.
fuck man, am 25 .. holy shiiiit

Do you talk a lot?

Do you know anyone named Steven?


Do you make up your own words?
Your own words bole toh....
I beleive in myself..

Are you a jealous person?
Not exactly.. am jealous of more of success that other people enjoy, but in healthier manner

Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’.
...... alias Amma

Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’.
Sorry .....

Who’s the first person on your received call list?
I don know, it was wrong number

Do you chew on your straw?

Do you have curly hair?

Where’s the next place you’re going to?
ghar.. sweet home ghar...

Who’s the rudest person in your life?
pata nahi, abhi toh koi nahi..
But, i have seen people changing... ...

What was the last thing you ate?

What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?
I haven't seen any movie in last 2 week, waise i tried watching "nights in rodathe", but failed. So will complete this week.

Is there anyone you like right now?
Yes, of course.... But, it's of no use.
cause i know, she didn't give any flying fuck over this.

When was the last time you did the dishes?
last sat, no maid, poor me...

Are you currently depressed?
Not exactly, but, am not happy with myself ..
whenever i think, i have everything, something start missing ...

Did you cry today?
Noooo ... last time i cried way back in dec 2003... usske baad toh jaise aasu sukh hi gayein ....
kitna bhi chahoo .. rona aataa hi nahii ... i tried few months before ... but failed ...

Why did you answer and post this?
Because this was interesting! and my blog was missing me .... :)))))

Who do you tag next?
Kisi ko nahi ...
cause no one follow this blog, except me ...

Committed to me , myself, sAu

Chillest Zone -- Home/Holi

Being at home is always going to be great. And after working for two tiring months day n night, and then getting such a break is always going to be a boon in the run of miles. Also, you get a chance to meet your loved ones, whom you desperately want to meet, as in my case is the DADI MAA, bi the way i cheer for all my family member.

Beleive me, after journey of 30 hrs of indian railways, you never regret the worthiness of it. Travelling in indian railways is fun in itself. It shows you, not full then also the half india. The 72 seat bogey carry some 250 indiviual in its peak season i.e diwali n holi. So, my journey was no more less bharat darshan, as i also saw some 15 adjusting in single compartment.

I have no idea, how this holi is going to be, as i am all alone this time, no frnds at all, all busy with their hustling and bustling carrer, out of hajipur. The whole one year has been a roller coaster ride for me, last holi and this holi ... ............... Then also, i have whole gang lined up of tiny cousins and bhabhis. Hannu, in particular is excited to play holi with his bintu uncle.

This holi, i was planning to have bhang, but unforunately, am at home, so this chucked out my plan of having bhang. I wana taste it, after all lemme check how it feels to eat n sings like "bhang ka rang" ...

Three days already gone, another 3 days to end this holi trip. you know, time is passing like a bullet train, it seems this world is at the verge of ending and god had fasten the day night cycle, the usual 24 hr has been shortend to some 12 hrs. Three day .... wow .. this time is moving hell ahead of his usual period.

Chalo then..
Have colurful holi...
play with whatever u get.. after all "bura naa manoo holi haii ..."
Committed to me, myself, sAu

Random Thoughts

Its amazing how we forget people, who means most to us. As the time passes, passes the age, passess the comfort zone, passes the ability to hope for some miracle. Once you were capable of exhibiting all your thoughts and action and sudden you get ......
Life always have a twist in the tale, when you think its on the right track.

Beleiving in yourself is the key to every problem. But what, when you beleive gets broken with every slithering failure, with ur aim getting befooled by your own thought of self beleive.

Your need some sort of beacon, when you are tottering in the midst of uncertainity. You need to get back in the arena, where you were noticed, you were cared. You need to stand against all odds, all failure that you faced.

Its wonderful to be in love, to be surrounded by someone special, who mean most to you. We love them, cherish them, claim that we can't live without them. And then one fine day, they go and leave us in the mayhem of sadness, grief, aggravation, alination. The true colors of grief gets visible only when you know, you were so close to ace, then also you choked at last moment.

My heart always remember you, you still alive in my thoghts, you still crawling as if you want to learn a new step of life. What cofuses/irritate me is the, silent treatment that am getting, i always thougt you of strong character, who know, how to deliver and carry herself. I know you made a mistake, but what more juggling is the way you carrying it out. I know, i lost you over silence rather than communication, and this hurts to the core.

P.S i am missing you lot today, so writting my thoughts, cause there is no point in calling you and getting ignored, also i cant handle your self owned hubris and meaningless attitude.


I am very thankful to one of my friend (AG), because of whom i started reading and started taking interest in the world of literature, and am finding it interesting to allow myself to get into the deep of it.From a person who was hardly into reading, get into it and completed some good books and have lilst of titles to follow next.
Thanks a lot...

The Inscruttable Americans

This book tells the journey/experience of an Indian who went to America for his higher studies, where he found himself in the mid of lot of things which he didn't did, or not even he desired to do or better to say, not even thought of. Why ... Indian values..... The letters written by main character to his family is the highpoint of this book, the way he has described America and his experience is totally humorous and interesting.
Written By Anurag Mathur

Almost Single
I took this book, while on my way from Delhi to Pune. It is very light hearted story about a 30+ lady and their friends who has found their life tormented in wake of Indian society and in search of perfect better half, and so called relationship. At best, we can say that, its basically a frustration of main character. Its high point is the climax where she enters into his bf's boss's hotel room, which was booked on his bf name, and found herself in negligee in front of her bf's boss.
Written By Advaita kala

The Kite Runner
Best book.. among the few that i hv read till now. Narrated in the backdrop of Afghanistan, it has got all the ingredient that constitute it to be the best. It has the innocence of amir and hazara boy, brutality of soviet government and other Talibans, strong characterization of baba (who has right n wrong to his credit), beauty of Kabul, fight of survival on their exit from Afghanistan to america, climax of utmost importance, where whole notion proved to be obsolete. What i found quite bad about this is the length of this book, i mean its go on n on n on .... The highpoint for me is the fight between Amir and Aseef for his cousin (i.e son of hazara boy) and then onward the whole story line. It's quite touching, i can say.
Written By Khalid Hossenni

Keep Off The Grass
Written by Karan Bajaj, i was bit skeptic of myself whether to read or not, in the start, but when i finished this, i found quite interesting. It tells you the story of American Indian who leave his well paid luxurious investment banker job for the MBA at IIM in Bangalore. This book gives you the idea of pressure, frustration, idea of getting on top at any cost, the zeal, that the student has to go through in his two year terms. As the name suggest, it deals a lot about the grass, the so called ganja, and their tryst of destiny for making sure of its availability. The High point is the fucking attitude of sarkar, one of the protagonist. You will enjoy more of sarkar in comparison to the main character.

At present reading "Thousand Splendid Suns".
Will write about this very soon.