Dilema

Tell me one thing, why can't we get back to our earlier days, days where we have our school, our bicycle, our tution, our school frnds, our school books, our tension of completing homework.

I want to live my school days back, i want to get back to my KG class, i want to give ma std 2 exam again, i want learn all alphabets once again.

sachi batau ... i had always this feeling when am not satisfied with myself. When everything have a smooth run, you enjoy doing whatever u wish, everything that you do, you have fun and great pleasure, but this is not going to be the same for years to come. Satisfaction comes with the happiness caused to you by achieving. And what achievement i have achieved till now, if i asked this question to myself, i will come out with a void answer. scuumbing to distractions is easy n keeping self discipline is tough.

strains of life is so painful and toll taking, and am feeling this so early in ma life, i don know how will i be able to handle the pressure, tautness of life in years to come. I never had a luxury of dream run, run which I have enjoyed or have been appreciated to the core, i never had the pleasure of antidote and redemption.

Frankly speaking, why the hell, this question arises, why the hell we don't want the complication of life, why the hell we want to a lead distressful life, why the hell ......

someone has rightly said, first 18 yr of ur life is something that takes time, but next coming all years, how it goes .. u have no idea .. and this is what m experiencing 2day ...

Yesterday i read a article by Mr Amitabh Bachchan, where he had asked his father(Mr HariVansh Rai Bachchan), why was he born ? and his father gave his answer in the following poem, and i think its worth mentioning

Zindagi aur zamane ki kashmakash se
Ghabrakar mere ladke mujhse poochte hain,
“Hamme paida kyun kiya tha?”
Aur mere paas iske siwa
Koi jawab nahin hai
Ki mere baap ne bhi mujhse bina pooche
Mujhe paida kiya tha,
Aur mere baap se bina pooche unke baap ne, unhe,
Aur mere baba se bina pooche unke baap ne, unhe…
Zindagi aur zamane ki kashmakash
Pahle bhi thi Ab bhi hai, shayad zyada,
Aage bhi hogi, shayad aur zyada.
Tumhi nayi leek dharana,
Apne baytoen se poochkar unhe paida karma!


But being a true optimist, i will continue fighting, considering it as a call of duty, n that also without screeching and pouting. I know i will get lost, drifted, distraited, forgotten, fallen, exhausted, so what.... i will resume my stance, and complete the task with panache and in style . :)