Welcome 2009 .... Bye Bye 2008 ...

Don't you remeber something... i mean, something at the verge of ending. Yes.. the so much ho-hoolaah that we guys created last year for this coming 2008 @ that time, has switched for 2009, then also, same intensity, same enjoyment, same amusement... hey Happy New Year .....

Anyway... Happy New Year ...

2008 has been like a roller coaster ride for me. It makes me learn a lot of things, gave oppurtunity to face some of the unchallenged terrain, infact i collected enriching experience from friends, family, love, office, surroundings. A very thanks to all those who made my years, no matter how they contributed, even a bad move taught me a lot.

One thing am very sure, this 2008 will always, going to be memmorable for all the wrong reason ...

when i started writing this blog, i thought it going to be long, but pata nahi .. i don feel like writing. Just a few lines to finish this year.

Things changes, priority changes ..
words changes, orator changes..
what not change, is the learning curve ...
curve, sometime steep, sometime slim...

u wana break away from me,
u wana end it all, end it to core..
bt just rem, . .... ...

we saw a dream for us..
wana make them true for us..
but u wana break away from me

Once you said, 'you are my best friend'
and i tried to make every moment worth living.
There is pain, deep inside ..
there is memory running all the time,
tell me how i get rid of all this..

I know, its crap to think,
just tell me, how i take care of my dejection, rejection..
It really makes me feel alone.. makes me feel ...
i was once capable of getting loved.

Okay, i am little unstable
But, I'm okay

It hurt, when i rem all the moments spent together..
i know, i'll b sounding loser to you..
but, how do i forget laughter I loved so much
how do i forget fun i had u with ..
how do i forget you ...
how do i forget you ...

Hope 2009 bring something more cheerer and nearer to me that ever before.
Thanks 2008 for your kindness, you showed and showered to me.

Welcome 2009 ...
no resolution nothing...
All i want to be happy, stay calm, attain peace of mind, more subtsnace of work, good health for me and for all .....
Cheers .....

Elated.. Belated.. Selated ...

I am still thinking about my so called friend, and that after haaving so much of damage already done, that its impossible to hope for something constructive to follow. I don't want to pass any judgement, who went wrong and where, not beacause doing this will calm me and my emotion, but beacause its a crap to think about another crap. Well, am happy, coz every good thing has an end and so it has.

Friends, a bit complex adjective, atleast for me. Till few days back, i was quite proud of myself, that those i have in my kitty, is always going to be same atleast for me, and was banking on them blindly. But alas .. days are gone, when friend used to be selfless, infact it was me who was not ready to accept this. Look at the irony, as two different genre starts with the same alphabet, and tht is "F".. Friend and Foes. To be honest, am totally enraged to myself...

Ok.. so much of cribbing about all the nonsense happening in and around me. So don u think, i should be bit presentable with something to cheers. I went to western classical concert (200 to 300 people attended) last 5 Dec, i guess. Dude, it was awesome experience atleast for a non - music lover like me, who hardly understand any indian classical. But, it was enriching experience, got to see live performance of violin, cello, piano, guitar, viola. Man, what a piano it was, it was huge, shining black instrument, curvature was something, that u cn fall in love with. And the man behind the piano was awesome too with a class of its own, i can say, but not very sure of ... he he he he he he he And the audience, they were so lovely and classy, with all variant of ages u can imagine. If someboday has said, that passion don see any age, class, scale, then its all true, cause to my surprise, i saw some 70 - 80 years old audience, for whom it was hard even to come this places with a stick or some kinda support, then also they managed, and attended whole session. Seriously, u should have passion, rest itself make way .. And what to say about the artist, they were not less classy than a merceedes benz E class, especially women on viola was teriific with her instrument, and was quite handy .. :D :D

wow .. what a great months in term of music, first western classical and now Indian classical at sawai gandharv mahathov 2008. It seems, am at my best of music fest.. well, c how long it last. I am really thank ful to myself, who is allowing me to go and explore these untravelled terrain, and am quite enjoying. Its better to be late than never, exactly .... i heard pt shiv kumar sharma, santoor performmance. what a great commencement of concert. I was totally delighted and moved by this man. If people say him a genius, then he is worth of it. The way he played santoor was marvellous in all term. I would have enjoyed more, if i were having some sort of music knowledge. I am sure, person who know and understand music will definetly have enjoyed more than me. It was my first encounter to indian classical, and i am impressed to give it a another go.

So, Rab de bana jodi released, and planning to see, lets c when i will. I guess Gajni will be more impressive, as aamir is there with his eight pack and marvellous acting.

Well, i think, i should write this four sentence, as it was said by some one very special, not because it hurted me and punctured my whole world, but just to remember how one can change, with the time and situation.

"Past is Past"
"I don Want anything from you"
"If you can start fresh, then only i can think of"
"I can give you everything, but not love, as i used to"

Anyway, I am happy, delighted to see something ending with a elegance(lol). Lets c, when love finds my way. At present, i guess for next year or so, it will be hard for love to happen, infact myself will not allow it to happen, after all, i need to mourn on all the shitt happend and happening.

Well, someother time i will surely write, about the love and my recent experience of love.
I am creating customised desktop calendar for someone, at am stcuk on 3 pages, cause am running out of ideas, photos, n all. I am confused what to put. lets c..

Till next blog, me saurabh anand signing offffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff .....

Commited to me, myself, saurabh

The Last Walk

Every good thing has an end. So did the sourav ganguly had .

Being a die hard fan of sourav, it always going to be shocking news. No doubt, it was on the card from the long time, but so early, i haven't expected. As a cricketer, i always admire sourav for his persona, ability, never say die attitude, mental toughness, strong character. Because of all this only, he managed to do so well at the top most circuit, where he is admired by most of the well known. Am very sure, he will be serving as role model for most of the youngsters.

As a player, i never doubted his ability. He was sourav only, who after a miserable debut against West Indies in 1992, and some one who was discarded and were deffered entry into international cricket for more than four years, had a dream run in international cricket. Once, he was awarded the title of nawab, considered as spoilt brat, and all this in his very first tour of australia. It was his character and self determination only, that not only he made a superb comeback and hit back to back two century, against England at the mecca of cricket, "The Lords" where most of the Indian batsman were tottering for runs. And those two century were hit on his Test no 1 and Test no 2.

I still remember how much hoo hallah was made, when he was selected, told as he didnt made in the team because of his merit but because of the quota system and dalmiya and all. Frankly speaking, he got chance because of kambli, who had bad run in the 1996 world cup, where he performed badly and was not selected for the england. You can say, a swashbuckling left hander made the way for another flamboyant left hander.

Winning back to back 4 man of the match at Toronto, that against Pakistan, is also one of the example of the class that sourav had. Getting a dream start for his team in Australia in 2003 where he lead his team by hitting classy 140+ at Brisbane first test. It was ganguly who took the moral of team from no way to highway and now dhoni taking it to expressway...:D Taking team into the 2003 world cup final is the one of the example, how fruitful he was as a captain, and who else can forget the famous shirt off at the lords balcony in natwest final 2002. It was under his captaincy only, when we start believing in our self and started winning overseas. Our win in England, australia and all is best example. He was the person who believe in giving back, if you are talking nonsense and one who always stood for his player.
Till now, he is the best overseas captain we have, which am very sure dhoni will excel.

Accepted he was having bad patch, but who don have, every one go through it, and see how advantageous it was. He become more determined, confident and convinced, and that at that age, when dusk is at your peak.
I myself consider this, more of political reason, between dalmiya and pawar group. Then also the scene that chapppel created or whoever molded, should not be done, as it not only harm the reputation, ethics, but also lead the team down at important juncture. I think it was from the both way, as chappel was looking for the 2007 world cup and he always considered ganguly a liability on the team, so ganguly was always taken at task by him. Also, what ganguly did in the last Zimbabwe tour by saying in the media, that he was asked to step down as captain wasn't welcomed at any moment of time. Being the captain of team, you shouldn't make such dubious and fallacious statement. Anyway, already much said and is written on this.

Look at the irony, got century on the debut and duck in his last inning. What should we call this, luck or bad luck. Luck for the fact, that he get himself in the famous club of "bradman n co" who get out on duck in their final inning, or bad luck for that, he should have ended his career in style, like Steve Waugh did by saving test match at Sydney against India. I guess everyone might consider later as a dream end, but you never know what destiny has in store for you. I guess, if he were playing one day games, he may have prolonged his career at least to next world cup. But one day, every one has to say good bye, every one has to have "The Last Walk", every good thing has an end, so one should consider as a call of destiny where 10 nov 2008 saw the end of SOURAV GANGULY charismatic and fascinating carrer.

With every goodbye you learn!

Hey ... This poem.. i found somewhere while surfing randomly ...
I found it worth putting on blog ...
It's more about the lesson that you learn after every breakup, after every rejection....
and also who can else better understand this at this current moment rather than me .....
So, here it goes ....

With every goodbye you learn!

Love isn’t like a reservoir.
You’ll never drain it dry.
It’s much more like a natural spring.
The longer and the farther it flows,
The stronger and the deeper
And the clearer it becomes.

After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security,

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes open,
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child, a
and learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even
sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure….
That you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn…
With every goodbye you learn.

Who breaks the thread; One who pulls it or one who holds on?

Different answer will be given for the above asked question, there is no doubt. Different person will have different opinion, under different circumstances, under different conditions. But what matter most here, is how you take the things into consideration, how you analyze the situation, how u justify ur action.

Everything in this world is based on infatuation, obsession to some extent, no one cares for emotion, if someone do, and then they are considered as doting and witless.

Someone science student can argue, ki every action has a reaction, every deeds has a consequence; so likewise, breaking the thread is more of a imbalance caused by two people @ both end. Some will come to conclusion, ki its nothing, but a breaking of equilibrium, caused by the person tugging at their end.

Someone will think, its a nonsense to hold someone, who wish to get out of your hand, out of your reach, out of your sight, so person holding should allow to say goodbye, tata ...
But still the question arises, who should be blamed for the action that leads to the breaking of thread.

I guess, it’s more of consequences of a action, that didn't determine its owner. Its always being a human tendency, of not considering himself, the accuse of any mishap, but the stampede tht is being caused by this is something, that no one can comprehend and even sympathies, except the person that sensed it most.

What i think thread can be considered as a adhesive, that bind a relationship, that connect a person to person, that gives you support n strength when u need them most. Its upto you, to decide what among urself and ur partner can be taken as thread, it can ranges from a small eye connect, a heartbeat, a hug, a small walk, any soothing experience...

Plethora of emotion... some justified .. some questioned ...

B'day are always meant for celebration, time to party with frnds, to drink without flunk ....

So, here it is, 11th July, this auspicious day i completed my 24 and beated the drum for 25th.

Completing my 24 and not writing blog for me, yeh kaise ho sakta haii ....
So here it is, continuing the tradition of telling about myself,that i started last year...

so, in this blog, am trying to point out 24 thing that i found in myself, changed, adapted, advanced, altered, expected to do, change required, resolution ....
Here, it goes

1) Ubisoft Ent Pvt Ltd, transition from gameloft to ubisoft, from mobile to console, a dream come true. Every mobile game programmer dreams to make it big, bigger on PC, and biggest on xbox,PS,WII.

2) Same salary, thts unfortunate, it should be bigger and better.

3) fifa maniac, something which am enjoying these days, last year tak, soccer.. thts boring,

4) my broking and borrowing stil continues. :(

5) no bike till now :(-_-_

6) learnt quite a bit abt love, hatred, betray, emotion, sentiment ...

7) i miss my family a lot.(i guess its not new, but am missing all this a lot these days).

8) i haven't been on date yet. :(-_-

9) But got the chance to live some wonderful, notable, phenomenal moments with some one special, that am gonna cherish for years 2 come. :)
(Hey.. if u reading, i really mean it, from the core of my heart.)

10) Lost some more hair, i guess next year i will b bald. :(-_-_

11) Planning to get iPhone this year. Don laugh, i know m big time liar, but kya karu ...... :) :)

12) yehhhhhhhhhhhhh... i read "The Alchemist", presently "The Kite Runner" is on.

13) traveling + trekking is something i wana do, seriously m gonna give it a try.

14) saw colors of friendship with my frnd, whom i used to call ma "lagootia" yaar.

15) Got a brand new watch, courtesy :: Dhiraj Bhai + Anshuman + Rajeev (mind you, its my B'day gift from them. Thanks a lot)

16) From a complete shy boy, i changed to someone, who prefer to speak his mind. But still need more effort in shedding my shyness.

17) With ayesha, i learnt the meaning of emotion, agaption, apprehension, explored love, enhanced my expressing thing, etc etc. (Hats off 2 u)

18) I really wana improve my speaking skill, and way of putting things, cause sometime it leads me down, and it something that hurt u most, when u know, u r right, but u wouldn't able to get justified. Also, it put me in some serious situation which shouldn''t be followed.

19) I have to outdo my sarcastic style of attitude in some situation, which sometimes break relation before getting it full proof cemented.

20) Getting fatter and motter day by day .... :(-_-

21) I need to socialise a bit more, bit of networking is needed to be more efficient and affective.

22) will donate blood this year, thats for sure.

23) I need to be more efficient, adequate, competent and economic in my work, cause there is no point in working hard, working smart should be the motto.

24) need to take more initiative, cause it something that pushes you further in your carrer.
cause 20 years from now it wont matter... what shoes you wore... what jeans you bought... or how your hair looked... what will matter is WHAT YOU LEARNT AND HOW YOU USED IT!!!

Atlast, i completed, frankly speaking it was herculean task to identify all these 24 point in yourself, and i did it. So i need a pat, of course i need .....


Tell me one thing, why can't we get back to our earlier days, days where we have our school, our bicycle, our tution, our school frnds, our school books, our tension of completing homework.

I want to live my school days back, i want to get back to my KG class, i want to give ma std 2 exam again, i want learn all alphabets once again.

sachi batau ... i had always this feeling when am not satisfied with myself. When everything have a smooth run, you enjoy doing whatever u wish, everything that you do, you have fun and great pleasure, but this is not going to be the same for years to come. Satisfaction comes with the happiness caused to you by achieving. And what achievement i have achieved till now, if i asked this question to myself, i will come out with a void answer. scuumbing to distractions is easy n keeping self discipline is tough.

strains of life is so painful and toll taking, and am feeling this so early in ma life, i don know how will i be able to handle the pressure, tautness of life in years to come. I never had a luxury of dream run, run which I have enjoyed or have been appreciated to the core, i never had the pleasure of antidote and redemption.

Frankly speaking, why the hell, this question arises, why the hell we don't want the complication of life, why the hell we want to a lead distressful life, why the hell ......

someone has rightly said, first 18 yr of ur life is something that takes time, but next coming all years, how it goes .. u have no idea .. and this is what m experiencing 2day ...

Yesterday i read a article by Mr Amitabh Bachchan, where he had asked his father(Mr HariVansh Rai Bachchan), why was he born ? and his father gave his answer in the following poem, and i think its worth mentioning

Zindagi aur zamane ki kashmakash se
Ghabrakar mere ladke mujhse poochte hain,
“Hamme paida kyun kiya tha?”
Aur mere paas iske siwa
Koi jawab nahin hai
Ki mere baap ne bhi mujhse bina pooche
Mujhe paida kiya tha,
Aur mere baap se bina pooche unke baap ne, unhe,
Aur mere baba se bina pooche unke baap ne, unhe…
Zindagi aur zamane ki kashmakash
Pahle bhi thi Ab bhi hai, shayad zyada,
Aage bhi hogi, shayad aur zyada.
Tumhi nayi leek dharana,
Apne baytoen se poochkar unhe paida karma!

But being a true optimist, i will continue fighting, considering it as a call of duty, n that also without screeching and pouting. I know i will get lost, drifted, distraited, forgotten, fallen, exhausted, so what.... i will resume my stance, and complete the task with panache and in style . :)

Attitude makes it all ...

Positive attitude does matter a lot

Father : "I want you to marry a girl of my choice"
Son : "I will choose my own bride!"
Father : "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"

Next - Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates : "Ah, in that case...ok"

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father : "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case...ok"This is how business is done!!

Even If you have nothing
You can get Anything.
But your attitude should be positive...

Yaadein ..

Something meaningful thought, moment that we will always miss, remember in our entire life to come.

Woh school ki seedi woh pyaar bhari baatein,,,
Woh syllabus ki tension woh exam ki raatein,,,
Woh canteen ki party woh b'day ki laatein,,,
Woh ruthna manana woh bunk mulakate,,,,

Library mein woh sona
temporary woh music woh movie woh cards ki magic,,,,

Proposal ki planning mein raat ka gujarna,,,
Fir class k peehche ki seat pe sona,,,,

Library mein jakar chehro ko padna,,,
Betuki bato ko seriously lena,,,,
Woh matlab ki batein hasi mein udana,,,,

Na woh din hai na raate na gussa na baatein,,,,