Retrospection

It's really strange when you retrospect for your childhood crush, for whom we used to go to any level of nonsense, to grab a opportunity to meet him/her or to see him/her... How a short lived infatuation/fondness can lead to some goofiest situation/action, no one can even imagine. Being in love and being loved is two different things, but when you have crush on someone... Who the hell think of all this, there is only one hope, where you want to be noticed some time intentionally or sometime unintentionally...

The last night, lying on the bed, watching star over head, when I thought of this, then my impatient mind stalked two name, i.e preity and dhramshilla. So, let’s have a peek a boo with them.

Dhramshilla mam was our class teacher, when i was in class 6th. Her innocence face, simplicity, and sexiness made me feel for her. I know it’s kinda weird to think of her, but what to do, when you are at the blossoming age of your raw sexiness, nothing is wrong. The way she used to take name, it was way enough to make you numb for a while. She no doubt, were having best figure (lol) among all.

And preity, one of the most cherished crush... she was beautiful, innocent, cute and all the adjective that you can think of. Rahul, will definitely tell you, how mad I was for her, after all he was my informer, as she used to live in her locality. I still remember how I used to wait for 3.50 pm for a glimpse of her, as she used to cross my building for her tuition. I invested quite a few night, in thinking, how to have a word with her, I mean how to strike a conversation/friendship, whether to give some gift or some soft toys, how she will react... bla bla ... but unfortunately it didn't happened. I know, it was doltish to make an email id "sau_prit@hotmial.com" where sau stands for saurabh and prit stand for preity, but who care... I really adore the time of my bhartendu’s sir tuition, from where all this started. It was more of routine to see her in morning in her balcony, where she used to brush her teeth, and every time if she did something diff from other day, rahul was sure ki, she was giving some hint, and all I have to do is to take a foot forward.

But we never had eye to eye contact for more than 4 sec or so, why I don’t know, if I would have clue, surely she would have been mine.. Be +ve yaaar .. Then also, the whole morning incident was more of fun, and especially thinking about how to strike a chord with her was one of the craziest or wackiest thing, could happen to me...

Well, this was one of the tales that I shared here, it’s almost true ki somewhere at any point of time, everyone had a crush in his/her life, and to get back to those memories is almost digging a mine of golden memories. I know, both my crush got crashed before it could take off.. Then also, this is what we called life ... I am sure, both of them will be enjoying their life with all the ups and downs.

I urge every reader of this, to share their experience of crush, which definitely make you feel good. And if something can bring smile on you, then give it a shot na...

A thoughtful message to end this....

"Sometimes we struggle through tasteless coffee till the last sip and we find sugar lying at the end, THAT'S LIFE... always sweetened but sometimes not stirred"

committed to me,myself, sAu

Tag Tig Tog

How much i love you, you don know ..
How much i care you, you don know ...
Love is eternal, Love is bliss ..
Love is something, that makes you reeling n rocking ...

Name one person who made you laugh last night?
Did i laughed last night .... lol


What were you doing at 0800?
Taking bath, office jaana hota hai yaar ...

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Sipping mazaa with kitkat, it tastes great

What happened to you in 2006?
Was seaching job, infact in mid 2006, got selected in CDAC... and rest becomes history.

What was the last thing you said out loud?
jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahe mujhe koi jungali kaheinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn .......
yahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

How many beverages did you have today?
aeeeeeee .. 2 cups of tea, one cup of capechino, and one mazaa .. bus ..

What was the last thing you paid for?
for mazaa and kitkat, tht i bought in office canteen

Where were you last night?
ghar pe...

What color is your front door?
wooden color

Where do you keep your change?
wallet

What’s the weather like today?
hot.. pata nahi delhi wali mausam yaha kaha se aa gayi ...

What’s the best ice-cream flavor?
butterscoth ...
my fav ..

What excites you?
smile, cuteness, smartness, and *&^&%% ...
ha ha ha he he he ho ho ho

Do you want to cut your hair?
i want to shave it off, but ...

Are you over the age of 25?
hhmm ...
and clock is ticking faster day by day. Frankly speaking, i don have any clue how fast i aged 25.
fuck man, am 25 .. holy shiiiit

Do you talk a lot?
naaaahhhhhhhhhhhh

Do you know anyone named Steven?
naaaaahhhhh

Do you make up your own words?
Your own words bole toh....
I beleive in myself..

Are you a jealous person?
Not exactly.. am jealous of more of success that other people enjoy, but in healthier manner

Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’.
...... alias Amma

Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’.
Sorry .....

Who’s the first person on your received call list?
I don know, it was wrong number

Do you chew on your straw?
nooo

Do you have curly hair?
Straight

Where’s the next place you’re going to?
ghar.. sweet home ghar...

Who’s the rudest person in your life?
pata nahi, abhi toh koi nahi..
But, i have seen people changing... ...

What was the last thing you ate?
Chocolates!

What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?
I haven't seen any movie in last 2 week, waise i tried watching "nights in rodathe", but failed. So will complete this week.

Is there anyone you like right now?
Yes, of course.... But, it's of no use.
cause i know, she didn't give any flying fuck over this.

When was the last time you did the dishes?
last sat, no maid, poor me...

Are you currently depressed?
Not exactly, but, am not happy with myself ..
whenever i think, i have everything, something start missing ...

Did you cry today?
Noooo ... last time i cried way back in dec 2003... usske baad toh jaise aasu sukh hi gayein ....
kitna bhi chahoo .. rona aataa hi nahii ... i tried few months before ... but failed ...

Why did you answer and post this?
Because this was interesting! and my blog was missing me .... :)))))

Who do you tag next?
Kisi ko nahi ...
cause no one follow this blog, except me ...

Committed to me , myself, sAu

Chillest Zone -- Home/Holi

Being at home is always going to be great. And after working for two tiring months day n night, and then getting such a break is always going to be a boon in the run of miles. Also, you get a chance to meet your loved ones, whom you desperately want to meet, as in my case is the DADI MAA, bi the way i cheer for all my family member.

Beleive me, after journey of 30 hrs of indian railways, you never regret the worthiness of it. Travelling in indian railways is fun in itself. It shows you, not full then also the half india. The 72 seat bogey carry some 250 indiviual in its peak season i.e diwali n holi. So, my journey was no more less bharat darshan, as i also saw some 15 adjusting in single compartment.

I have no idea, how this holi is going to be, as i am all alone this time, no frnds at all, all busy with their hustling and bustling carrer, out of hajipur. The whole one year has been a roller coaster ride for me, last holi and this holi ... ............... Then also, i have whole gang lined up of tiny cousins and bhabhis. Hannu, in particular is excited to play holi with his bintu uncle.

This holi, i was planning to have bhang, but unforunately, am at home, so this chucked out my plan of having bhang. I wana taste it, after all lemme check how it feels to eat n sings like "bhang ka rang" ...

Three days already gone, another 3 days to end this holi trip. you know, time is passing like a bullet train, it seems this world is at the verge of ending and god had fasten the day night cycle, the usual 24 hr has been shortend to some 12 hrs. Three day .... wow .. this time is moving hell ahead of his usual period.


Chalo then..
Have colurful holi...
play with whatever u get.. after all "bura naa manoo holi haii ..."
Committed to me, myself, sAu

Random Thoughts

Its amazing how we forget people, who means most to us. As the time passes, passes the age, passess the comfort zone, passes the ability to hope for some miracle. Once you were capable of exhibiting all your thoughts and action and sudden you get ......
Life always have a twist in the tale, when you think its on the right track.

Beleiving in yourself is the key to every problem. But what, when you beleive gets broken with every slithering failure, with ur aim getting befooled by your own thought of self beleive.

Your need some sort of beacon, when you are tottering in the midst of uncertainity. You need to get back in the arena, where you were noticed, you were cared. You need to stand against all odds, all failure that you faced.

Its wonderful to be in love, to be surrounded by someone special, who mean most to you. We love them, cherish them, claim that we can't live without them. And then one fine day, they go and leave us in the mayhem of sadness, grief, aggravation, alination. The true colors of grief gets visible only when you know, you were so close to ace, then also you choked at last moment.

My heart always remember you, you still alive in my thoghts, you still crawling as if you want to learn a new step of life. What cofuses/irritate me is the, silent treatment that am getting, i always thougt you of strong character, who know, how to deliver and carry herself. I know you made a mistake, but what more juggling is the way you carrying it out. I know, i lost you over silence rather than communication, and this hurts to the core.

P.S i am missing you lot today, so writting my thoughts, cause there is no point in calling you and getting ignored, also i cant handle your self owned hubris and meaningless attitude.

Books..

I am very thankful to one of my friend (AG), because of whom i started reading and started taking interest in the world of literature, and am finding it interesting to allow myself to get into the deep of it.From a person who was hardly into reading, get into it and completed some good books and have lilst of titles to follow next.
Thanks a lot...

The Inscruttable Americans

This book tells the journey/experience of an Indian who went to America for his higher studies, where he found himself in the mid of lot of things which he didn't did, or not even he desired to do or better to say, not even thought of. Why ... Indian values..... The letters written by main character to his family is the highpoint of this book, the way he has described America and his experience is totally humorous and interesting.
Written By Anurag Mathur

Almost Single

I took this book, while on my way from Delhi to Pune. It is very light hearted story about a 30+ lady and their friends who has found their life tormented in wake of Indian society and in search of perfect better half, and so called relationship. At best, we can say that, its basically a frustration of main character. Its high point is the climax where she enters into his bf's boss's hotel room, which was booked on his bf name, and found herself in negligee in front of her bf's boss.
Written By Advaita kala

The Kite Runner

Best book.. among the few that i hv read till now. Narrated in the backdrop of Afghanistan, it has got all the ingredient that constitute it to be the best. It has the innocence of amir and hazara boy, brutality of soviet government and other Talibans, strong characterization of baba (who has right n wrong to his credit), beauty of Kabul, fight of survival on their exit from Afghanistan to america, climax of utmost importance, where whole notion proved to be obsolete. What i found quite bad about this is the length of this book, i mean its go on n on n on .... The highpoint for me is the fight between Amir and Aseef for his cousin (i.e son of hazara boy) and then onward the whole story line. It's quite touching, i can say.
Written By Khalid Hossenni

Keep Off The Grass

Written by Karan Bajaj, i was bit skeptic of myself whether to read or not, in the start, but when i finished this, i found quite interesting. It tells you the story of American Indian who leave his well paid luxurious investment banker job for the MBA at IIM in Bangalore. This book gives you the idea of pressure, frustration, idea of getting on top at any cost, the zeal, that the student has to go through in his two year terms. As the name suggest, it deals a lot about the grass, the so called ganja, and their tryst of destiny for making sure of its availability. The High point is the fucking attitude of sarkar, one of the protagonist. You will enjoy more of sarkar in comparison to the main character.

At present reading "Thousand Splendid Suns".
Will write about this very soon.
sAu

Welcome 2009 .... Bye Bye 2008 ...

December..
Don't you remeber something... i mean, something at the verge of ending. Yes.. the so much ho-hoolaah that we guys created last year for this coming 2008 @ that time, has switched for 2009, then also, same intensity, same enjoyment, same amusement... hey Happy New Year .....

Anyway... Happy New Year ...

2008 has been like a roller coaster ride for me. It makes me learn a lot of things, gave oppurtunity to face some of the unchallenged terrain, infact i collected enriching experience from friends, family, love, office, surroundings. A very thanks to all those who made my years, no matter how they contributed, even a bad move taught me a lot.

One thing am very sure, this 2008 will always, going to be memmorable for all the wrong reason ...

when i started writing this blog, i thought it going to be long, but pata nahi .. i don feel like writing. Just a few lines to finish this year.

Things changes, priority changes ..
words changes, orator changes..
what not change, is the learning curve ...
curve, sometime steep, sometime slim...

u wana break away from me,
u wana end it all, end it to core..
bt just rem, . .... ...

we saw a dream for us..
wana make them true for us..
but u wana break away from me

Once you said, 'you are my best friend'
and i tried to make every moment worth living.
There is pain, deep inside ..
there is memory running all the time,
tell me how i get rid of all this..

I know, its crap to think,
just tell me, how i take care of my dejection, rejection..
It really makes me feel alone.. makes me feel ...
i was once capable of getting loved.

Okay, i am little unstable
But, I'm okay

It hurt, when i rem all the moments spent together..
i know, i'll b sounding loser to you..
but, how do i forget laughter I loved so much
how do i forget fun i had u with ..
how do i forget you ...
how do i forget you ...

Hope 2009 bring something more cheerer and nearer to me that ever before.
Thanks 2008 for your kindness, you showed and showered to me.

Welcome 2009 ...
no resolution nothing...
All i want to be happy, stay calm, attain peace of mind, more subtsnace of work, good health for me and for all .....
Cheers .....

Elated.. Belated.. Selated ...

I am still thinking about my so called friend, and that after haaving so much of damage already done, that its impossible to hope for something constructive to follow. I don't want to pass any judgement, who went wrong and where, not beacause doing this will calm me and my emotion, but beacause its a crap to think about another crap. Well, am happy, coz every good thing has an end and so it has.

Friends, a bit complex adjective, atleast for me. Till few days back, i was quite proud of myself, that those i have in my kitty, is always going to be same atleast for me, and was banking on them blindly. But alas .. days are gone, when friend used to be selfless, infact it was me who was not ready to accept this. Look at the irony, as two different genre starts with the same alphabet, and tht is "F".. Friend and Foes. To be honest, am totally enraged to myself...

Ok.. so much of cribbing about all the nonsense happening in and around me. So don u think, i should be bit presentable with something to cheers. I went to western classical concert (200 to 300 people attended) last 5 Dec, i guess. Dude, it was awesome experience atleast for a non - music lover like me, who hardly understand any indian classical. But, it was enriching experience, got to see live performance of violin, cello, piano, guitar, viola. Man, what a piano it was, it was huge, shining black instrument, curvature was something, that u cn fall in love with. And the man behind the piano was awesome too with a class of its own, i can say, but not very sure of ... he he he he he he he And the audience, they were so lovely and classy, with all variant of ages u can imagine. If someboday has said, that passion don see any age, class, scale, then its all true, cause to my surprise, i saw some 70 - 80 years old audience, for whom it was hard even to come this places with a stick or some kinda support, then also they managed, and attended whole session. Seriously, u should have passion, rest itself make way .. And what to say about the artist, they were not less classy than a merceedes benz E class, especially women on viola was teriific with her instrument, and was quite handy .. :D :D

wow .. what a great months in term of music, first western classical and now Indian classical at sawai gandharv mahathov 2008. It seems, am at my best of music fest.. well, c how long it last. I am really thank ful to myself, who is allowing me to go and explore these untravelled terrain, and am quite enjoying. Its better to be late than never, exactly .... i heard pt shiv kumar sharma, santoor performmance. what a great commencement of concert. I was totally delighted and moved by this man. If people say him a genius, then he is worth of it. The way he played santoor was marvellous in all term. I would have enjoyed more, if i were having some sort of music knowledge. I am sure, person who know and understand music will definetly have enjoyed more than me. It was my first encounter to indian classical, and i am impressed to give it a another go.

So, Rab de bana jodi released, and planning to see, lets c when i will. I guess Gajni will be more impressive, as aamir is there with his eight pack and marvellous acting.

Well, i think, i should write this four sentence, as it was said by some one very special, not because it hurted me and punctured my whole world, but just to remember how one can change, with the time and situation.

"Past is Past"
"I don Want anything from you"
"If you can start fresh, then only i can think of"
"I can give you everything, but not love, as i used to"

Anyway, I am happy, delighted to see something ending with a elegance(lol). Lets c, when love finds my way. At present, i guess for next year or so, it will be hard for love to happen, infact myself will not allow it to happen, after all, i need to mourn on all the shitt happend and happening.

Well, someother time i will surely write, about the love and my recent experience of love.
I am creating customised desktop calendar for someone, at am stcuk on 3 pages, cause am running out of ideas, photos, n all. I am confused what to put. lets c..

Till next blog, me saurabh anand signing offffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff .....

Commited to me, myself, saurabh
sAu