Random Thoughts

Its amazing how we forget people, who means most to us. As the time passes, passes the age, passess the comfort zone, passes the ability to hope for some miracle. Once you were capable of exhibiting all your thoughts and action and sudden you get ......
Life always have a twist in the tale, when you think its on the right track.

Beleiving in yourself is the key to every problem. But what, when you beleive gets broken with every slithering failure, with ur aim getting befooled by your own thought of self beleive.

Your need some sort of beacon, when you are tottering in the midst of uncertainity. You need to get back in the arena, where you were noticed, you were cared. You need to stand against all odds, all failure that you faced.

Its wonderful to be in love, to be surrounded by someone special, who mean most to you. We love them, cherish them, claim that we can't live without them. And then one fine day, they go and leave us in the mayhem of sadness, grief, aggravation, alination. The true colors of grief gets visible only when you know, you were so close to ace, then also you choked at last moment.

My heart always remember you, you still alive in my thoghts, you still crawling as if you want to learn a new step of life. What cofuses/irritate me is the, silent treatment that am getting, i always thougt you of strong character, who know, how to deliver and carry herself. I know you made a mistake, but what more juggling is the way you carrying it out. I know, i lost you over silence rather than communication, and this hurts to the core.

P.S i am missing you lot today, so writting my thoughts, cause there is no point in calling you and getting ignored, also i cant handle your self owned hubris and meaningless attitude.

Books..

I am very thankful to one of my friend (AG), because of whom i started reading and started taking interest in the world of literature, and am finding it interesting to allow myself to get into the deep of it.From a person who was hardly into reading, get into it and completed some good books and have lilst of titles to follow next.
Thanks a lot...

The Inscruttable Americans

This book tells the journey/experience of an Indian who went to America for his higher studies, where he found himself in the mid of lot of things which he didn't did, or not even he desired to do or better to say, not even thought of. Why ... Indian values..... The letters written by main character to his family is the highpoint of this book, the way he has described America and his experience is totally humorous and interesting.
Written By Anurag Mathur

Almost Single

I took this book, while on my way from Delhi to Pune. It is very light hearted story about a 30+ lady and their friends who has found their life tormented in wake of Indian society and in search of perfect better half, and so called relationship. At best, we can say that, its basically a frustration of main character. Its high point is the climax where she enters into his bf's boss's hotel room, which was booked on his bf name, and found herself in negligee in front of her bf's boss.
Written By Advaita kala

The Kite Runner

Best book.. among the few that i hv read till now. Narrated in the backdrop of Afghanistan, it has got all the ingredient that constitute it to be the best. It has the innocence of amir and hazara boy, brutality of soviet government and other Talibans, strong characterization of baba (who has right n wrong to his credit), beauty of Kabul, fight of survival on their exit from Afghanistan to america, climax of utmost importance, where whole notion proved to be obsolete. What i found quite bad about this is the length of this book, i mean its go on n on n on .... The highpoint for me is the fight between Amir and Aseef for his cousin (i.e son of hazara boy) and then onward the whole story line. It's quite touching, i can say.
Written By Khalid Hossenni

Keep Off The Grass

Written by Karan Bajaj, i was bit skeptic of myself whether to read or not, in the start, but when i finished this, i found quite interesting. It tells you the story of American Indian who leave his well paid luxurious investment banker job for the MBA at IIM in Bangalore. This book gives you the idea of pressure, frustration, idea of getting on top at any cost, the zeal, that the student has to go through in his two year terms. As the name suggest, it deals a lot about the grass, the so called ganja, and their tryst of destiny for making sure of its availability. The High point is the fucking attitude of sarkar, one of the protagonist. You will enjoy more of sarkar in comparison to the main character.

At present reading "Thousand Splendid Suns".
Will write about this very soon.
sAu

Welcome 2009 .... Bye Bye 2008 ...

December..
Don't you remeber something... i mean, something at the verge of ending. Yes.. the so much ho-hoolaah that we guys created last year for this coming 2008 @ that time, has switched for 2009, then also, same intensity, same enjoyment, same amusement... hey Happy New Year .....

Anyway... Happy New Year ...

2008 has been like a roller coaster ride for me. It makes me learn a lot of things, gave oppurtunity to face some of the unchallenged terrain, infact i collected enriching experience from friends, family, love, office, surroundings. A very thanks to all those who made my years, no matter how they contributed, even a bad move taught me a lot.

One thing am very sure, this 2008 will always, going to be memmorable for all the wrong reason ...

when i started writing this blog, i thought it going to be long, but pata nahi .. i don feel like writing. Just a few lines to finish this year.

Things changes, priority changes ..
words changes, orator changes..
what not change, is the learning curve ...
curve, sometime steep, sometime slim...

u wana break away from me,
u wana end it all, end it to core..
bt just rem, . .... ...

we saw a dream for us..
wana make them true for us..
but u wana break away from me

Once you said, 'you are my best friend'
and i tried to make every moment worth living.
There is pain, deep inside ..
there is memory running all the time,
tell me how i get rid of all this..

I know, its crap to think,
just tell me, how i take care of my dejection, rejection..
It really makes me feel alone.. makes me feel ...
i was once capable of getting loved.

Okay, i am little unstable
But, I'm okay

It hurt, when i rem all the moments spent together..
i know, i'll b sounding loser to you..
but, how do i forget laughter I loved so much
how do i forget fun i had u with ..
how do i forget you ...
how do i forget you ...

Hope 2009 bring something more cheerer and nearer to me that ever before.
Thanks 2008 for your kindness, you showed and showered to me.

Welcome 2009 ...
no resolution nothing...
All i want to be happy, stay calm, attain peace of mind, more subtsnace of work, good health for me and for all .....
Cheers .....

Elated.. Belated.. Selated ...

I am still thinking about my so called friend, and that after haaving so much of damage already done, that its impossible to hope for something constructive to follow. I don't want to pass any judgement, who went wrong and where, not beacause doing this will calm me and my emotion, but beacause its a crap to think about another crap. Well, am happy, coz every good thing has an end and so it has.

Friends, a bit complex adjective, atleast for me. Till few days back, i was quite proud of myself, that those i have in my kitty, is always going to be same atleast for me, and was banking on them blindly. But alas .. days are gone, when friend used to be selfless, infact it was me who was not ready to accept this. Look at the irony, as two different genre starts with the same alphabet, and tht is "F".. Friend and Foes. To be honest, am totally enraged to myself...

Ok.. so much of cribbing about all the nonsense happening in and around me. So don u think, i should be bit presentable with something to cheers. I went to western classical concert (200 to 300 people attended) last 5 Dec, i guess. Dude, it was awesome experience atleast for a non - music lover like me, who hardly understand any indian classical. But, it was enriching experience, got to see live performance of violin, cello, piano, guitar, viola. Man, what a piano it was, it was huge, shining black instrument, curvature was something, that u cn fall in love with. And the man behind the piano was awesome too with a class of its own, i can say, but not very sure of ... he he he he he he he And the audience, they were so lovely and classy, with all variant of ages u can imagine. If someboday has said, that passion don see any age, class, scale, then its all true, cause to my surprise, i saw some 70 - 80 years old audience, for whom it was hard even to come this places with a stick or some kinda support, then also they managed, and attended whole session. Seriously, u should have passion, rest itself make way .. And what to say about the artist, they were not less classy than a merceedes benz E class, especially women on viola was teriific with her instrument, and was quite handy .. :D :D

wow .. what a great months in term of music, first western classical and now Indian classical at sawai gandharv mahathov 2008. It seems, am at my best of music fest.. well, c how long it last. I am really thank ful to myself, who is allowing me to go and explore these untravelled terrain, and am quite enjoying. Its better to be late than never, exactly .... i heard pt shiv kumar sharma, santoor performmance. what a great commencement of concert. I was totally delighted and moved by this man. If people say him a genius, then he is worth of it. The way he played santoor was marvellous in all term. I would have enjoyed more, if i were having some sort of music knowledge. I am sure, person who know and understand music will definetly have enjoyed more than me. It was my first encounter to indian classical, and i am impressed to give it a another go.

So, Rab de bana jodi released, and planning to see, lets c when i will. I guess Gajni will be more impressive, as aamir is there with his eight pack and marvellous acting.

Well, i think, i should write this four sentence, as it was said by some one very special, not because it hurted me and punctured my whole world, but just to remember how one can change, with the time and situation.

"Past is Past"
"I don Want anything from you"
"If you can start fresh, then only i can think of"
"I can give you everything, but not love, as i used to"

Anyway, I am happy, delighted to see something ending with a elegance(lol). Lets c, when love finds my way. At present, i guess for next year or so, it will be hard for love to happen, infact myself will not allow it to happen, after all, i need to mourn on all the shitt happend and happening.

Well, someother time i will surely write, about the love and my recent experience of love.
I am creating customised desktop calendar for someone, at am stcuk on 3 pages, cause am running out of ideas, photos, n all. I am confused what to put. lets c..

Till next blog, me saurabh anand signing offffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff .....

Commited to me, myself, saurabh
sAu

The Last Walk

Every good thing has an end. So did the sourav ganguly had .




Being a die hard fan of sourav, it always going to be shocking news. No doubt, it was on the card from the long time, but so early, i haven't expected. As a cricketer, i always admire sourav for his persona, ability, never say die attitude, mental toughness, strong character. Because of all this only, he managed to do so well at the top most circuit, where he is admired by most of the well known. Am very sure, he will be serving as role model for most of the youngsters.

As a player, i never doubted his ability. He was sourav only, who after a miserable debut against West Indies in 1992, and some one who was discarded and were deffered entry into international cricket for more than four years, had a dream run in international cricket. Once, he was awarded the title of nawab, considered as spoilt brat, and all this in his very first tour of australia. It was his character and self determination only, that not only he made a superb comeback and hit back to back two century, against England at the mecca of cricket, "The Lords" where most of the Indian batsman were tottering for runs. And those two century were hit on his Test no 1 and Test no 2.

I still remember how much hoo hallah was made, when he was selected, told as he didnt made in the team because of his merit but because of the quota system and dalmiya and all. Frankly speaking, he got chance because of kambli, who had bad run in the 1996 world cup, where he performed badly and was not selected for the england. You can say, a swashbuckling left hander made the way for another flamboyant left hander.

Winning back to back 4 man of the match at Toronto, that against Pakistan, is also one of the example of the class that sourav had. Getting a dream start for his team in Australia in 2003 where he lead his team by hitting classy 140+ at Brisbane first test. It was ganguly who took the moral of team from no way to highway and now dhoni taking it to expressway...:D Taking team into the 2003 world cup final is the one of the example, how fruitful he was as a captain, and who else can forget the famous shirt off at the lords balcony in natwest final 2002. It was under his captaincy only, when we start believing in our self and started winning overseas. Our win in England, australia and all is best example. He was the person who believe in giving back, if you are talking nonsense and one who always stood for his player. Till now, he is the best overseas captain we have, which am very sure dhoni will excel.

Accepted he was having bad patch, but who don have, every one go through it, and see how advantageous it was. He become more determined, confident and convinced, and that at that age, when dusk is at your peak. I myself consider this, more of political reason, between dalmiya and pawar group. Then also the scene that chapppel created or whoever molded, should not be done, as it not only harm the reputation, ethics, but also lead the team down at important juncture. I think it was from the both way, as chappel was looking for the 2007 world cup and he always considered ganguly a liability on the team, so ganguly was always taken at task by him. Also, what ganguly did in the last Zimbabwe tour by saying in the media, that he was asked to step down as captain wasn't welcomed at any moment of time. Being the captain of team, you shouldn't make such dubious and fallacious statement. Anyway, already much said and is written on this.

Look at the irony, got century on the debut and duck in his last inning. What should we call this, luck or bad luck. Luck for the fact, that he get himself in the famous club of "bradman n co" who get out on duck in their final inning, or bad luck for that, he should have ended his career in style, like Steve Waugh did by saving test match at Sydney against India. I guess everyone might consider later as a dream end, but you never know what destiny has in store for you. I guess, if he were playing one day games, he may have prolonged his career at least to next world cup. But one day, every one has to say good bye, every one has to have "The Last Walk", every good thing has an end, so one should consider as a call of destiny where 10 nov 2008 saw the end of SOURAV GANGULY charismatic and fascinating carrer.

With every goodbye you learn!

Hey ... This poem.. i found somewhere while surfing randomly ...
I found it worth putting on blog ...
It's more about the lesson that you learn after every breakup, after every rejection....
and also who can else better understand this at this current moment rather than me .....
So, here it goes ....

With every goodbye you learn!

Love isn’t like a reservoir.
You’ll never drain it dry.
It’s much more like a natural spring.
The longer and the farther it flows,
The stronger and the deeper
And the clearer it becomes.

After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security,

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes open,
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child, a
and learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even
sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure….
That you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn…
With every goodbye you learn.

Who breaks the thread; One who pulls it or one who holds on?

Different answer will be given for the above asked question, there is no doubt. Different person will have different opinion, under different circumstances, under different conditions. But what matter most here, is how you take the things into consideration, how you analyze the situation, how u justify ur action.

Everything in this world is based on infatuation, obsession to some extent, no one cares for emotion, if someone do, and then they are considered as doting and witless.

Someone science student can argue, ki every action has a reaction, every deeds has a consequence; so likewise, breaking the thread is more of a imbalance caused by two people @ both end. Some will come to conclusion, ki its nothing, but a breaking of equilibrium, caused by the person tugging at their end.

Someone will think, its a nonsense to hold someone, who wish to get out of your hand, out of your reach, out of your sight, so person holding should allow to say goodbye, tata ...
But still the question arises, who should be blamed for the action that leads to the breaking of thread.

I guess, it’s more of consequences of a action, that didn't determine its owner. Its always being a human tendency, of not considering himself, the accuse of any mishap, but the stampede tht is being caused by this is something, that no one can comprehend and even sympathies, except the person that sensed it most.

What i think thread can be considered as a adhesive, that bind a relationship, that connect a person to person, that gives you support n strength when u need them most. Its upto you, to decide what among urself and ur partner can be taken as thread, it can ranges from a small eye connect, a heartbeat, a hug, a small walk, any soothing experience...